Archive for May, 2009

Classic Cars Pass Legislation to Scrap Old Senators

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Some humor from the Editor of The Endive

Olds Cutlass and Pontiac GTO

The Classic Car Senate passed legislation today that would reward Americans with up to $5,000 in tax incentives to scrap old, inefficient senators and representatives.

“We need new senators,” said Classic Car majority leader Pontiac GTO, “Old senators are polluting our air and using up our resources at an astounding rate. Let’s get some new, young senators inside the beltway who spout out less hot air and don’t consume as many cheeseburgers.”

The move was backed by an overwhelming majority of classic automobiles.

“It’s about time this legislation passed,” said Oldsmobile 442, “I’m excited about the influx of recycled material that will become available when these old senators are crushed and melted down. Now that’s what I call ‘going green.’”

The new legislation, HR-101.4, provides Americans who scrap older model senators with up $5,000 in tax rebates on the election of a new, smaller, more efficient senator.

“These old senators have ruled Washington so long that people don’t know what’s good for them anymore,” said Chevrolet Chevelle SuperSport, Classic Car senator from Michigan, “It’ll do my heart good to see these guys rounded up, cut to pieces and possibly shipped overseas to countries in need of their raw materials.”

Other American automobiles opposed the bill, unwilling to let go of their old lawmakers.

“I just like things the way he had them,” said Toyota Corolla of West Palm Beach, Florida, “My old Senator knows how to raise some taxes can stall a bill in congress for eight years. You can’t get that out of a new senator.”

Others questioned why a congress of classic muscle cars was pushing to scrap older people.

“I tried to ask Senator Plymouth Superbird why he was so interested in scrapping old senators,” said Toyota Prius, “But I couldn’t catch up to him. I’m not anywhere near as fast off the line and my top speed doesn’t even come close.”

Classic Car Senators did confirm speculation that the bill was crafted in response to Representative Henry Waxman and his scrappage legislation.

“Want to get us old clunkers off the road, huh Waxman?” said Buick GSX, “Before you can make us into tin cans, we’ll have you guys pureed into Soylent Green.”

“One more important message to our old senators,” added Representative Mercury Cyclone, “We are prettier, louder, and faster. Don’t mess with us.”

Indiana reflects on the end of Pontiac brand

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

At an Indiana car show, the Indy GTO Association President, Bill Sanders, had a chance to comment on the Pontiac brand disappearing.

TV report

Video:  GTOs at an Indiana car show

Sanders is seen in his 1966 GTO convertible.  Good video from the interior of the car while driving.

The story was aired on WRTV6 news in Indianapolis 5/3/09.

The same day, the Indy Star’s Dan McFeely did a story called…

Alas, the Pontiac — R.I.P.

Aficionados lament General Motors’ decision to end production of the brand now likely to be a hot classic

In the story, Bill Sanders is quoted as saying:

“Yes, I’m mad that Pontiac is going away,” He’s upset, he said, “not because Pontiac is going away so much as the way the nameplate has been mishandled over the last 20-plus years. This was a freight train that’s been coming for a long time.”

You can see some photos of Bill’s 1966 car before, during, and after restoration here on UltimateGTO.com